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When I Grow Up To Be A Man (Album)

by Gary Yay

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1.
From out of nowhere our eyes meet We've both left it too late to cross over the street Cos this time our hearts skip a different beat I say it's so good to see you, I lie through my teeth You say it's been too long, but I know the score The truth in your eyes says you wish it was more We say we'll do lunch but we both know we're lying I try to find the time but my time keeps ticking away Where does the time go When does it end Who could begin to describe A time when we could be more than just friends Please could you let me know When you and I could pretend to act normal again It's the same old story
2.
They took it all! They took my money They took it all! They took my car They took it all! They took my dignity and left me at the minibar Try something new! Go write your novel Try something new! Go have a fling Try something new! So what you waiting for, the world is yours, you can do anything Why can't I just be me Instead I gotta be The sort of guy that wouldn't go just falling for A set of silver hips Loose lips sink ships If that's what it's all about, count me out This isn't gonna go the way you planned If you don't give a damn About becoming immaterial So come on kid Leave the old man suffering to the old I had a dream! I was somebody I had a dream! It went away I had a dream! I couldn't leave it, there was so much I forgot to say Say something else! Please change the subject Say something else! Cos this is hell Say something else! Being surrounded by teenagers taking photos of themselves The 20th century Got up and had to leave You'll find me in the corner contemplating Where the nearest exit is to me Cos I'd rather be at home watching TV This isn't gonna go the way you planned If you don't give a damn About becoming immaterial So on your feet son Cos 'poor me' is not a good look for you You're never gonna get the old you back Sitting round in your pants On your own eating cereal So come on kid Leave the old man suffering to the old I know I'm not unremarkable Maybe you'll see my potential Or you might wait a lifetime to find a millionaire So give me one good reason why I should leave the house at all
3.
I'm sick of listening to you if I'm honest It isn't too late to back down My friend your poor attempts at wisdom are moronic You don't know what you are talking about I know you want to seem intelligent But to me you are an embarrassment The disappointment your poor mother felt I only wish that you could comprehend Peace signs Nazca lines If you can't bear to understand I'll close my eyes Is it really so strange? I'm reading you loud and clear that You don't want to change I doubt you would feel less insecure If everything stayed the same So let boys be girls and girls be boys And either listen or shut your face Cos I don't wanna know your name So pipe down Because you're boring me senseless Is this the point at which you say I should be honoured By your unique disposition You seem to think your opinion's wanted But I think you've misjudged your audience I know you love to play the idiot So quit pretending you're so innocent And let's not mention your belligerence Is it so hard for you to comprehend Springtime Daily grind If I love you and you hate me I'll wave bye bye Is it really so strange? I'm reading you loud and clear that You're not going to change I know you don't think you're ignorant But actually you come across so profane So why don't you eat yours and I'll eat mine And either listen or shut your face Cos I don't wanna know your name Why won't you ever listen To anything except your own opinion Manners maketh man as someone said A pity you missed that lesson I'm not here to work on your delivery Surely it should be fucking obvious So pipe down Because you're boring me senseless
4.
Is it true we're through Or is there anything else that I could do To convince you to stay Well maybe some truths are best left not to say So we kiss with the lights on Avoid conversation Can't talk to you without you ruining my day Why must our battle be a public display Wild accusations The games we play They go nowhere She came back from yesterday To laugh at our disarray We argue and fight So why waste all night Pretending that one of us might change She'll come back to haunt me Harbinger of misery She's waiting in line And biding her time To sweep our remains in the bin of history And if we let her, she might give Enough rope to hang ourselves with She'll kick back the chair And then laugh as we swing And so I concede Say I wouldl happily extend the olive leaf But if you want me dead If war's what you want then a war's what you'll get So I fear for our children And pray we don't use them As weapons with which to cause each other pain I listen to them, you just push them away And if we're complacent She'll catch her break Cos she waits for mistakes She came back from yesterday To laugh at our disarray We argue and fight So why waste all night Pretending that one of us might change That's when she'll claim victory Our downfall her legacy She's waiting in line And biding her time To sweep our remains in the bin of history And when the world sees the mess we're in She'll bury us both Thrust a flagpole in And dance on our graves
5.
You say you want to take a break I try and hide the disappointment from my face Cos it's not my place to try and state my case It's your decision, yeah it wasn't mine to make So I try and give you space and not think why you're not replying And I know it's inappropriate to message all the time So I bite my tongue and do my best to get you off my mind But how am I supposed to rest when I can fucking tell you've been online Oh what the fuck is wrong with me Cos I can't help myself Cos you keep Playing with me Hide and seek Do these precious tricks turn you on It's breaking me What do you see that I don't see
6.
You And Me 02:40
You and me Maybe in another life we'd be capable of being civil Why don't we agree to disagree some more It's becoming a bore How we don't get along You and me We weren't so much Romeo and Juliet as Mercutio and Tybalt Why don't we call a truce and not start a war What we fought to save In a puff of smoke was gone Like it amounted to nothing You and me Even with the best intentions we'd always be nothing but trouble It was our destiny to drown in the flood In rivers of blood We shed together You and me I'm not saying I was innocent but you weren't blameless of nothing Why are you so intent to even the score Please don't be raw That I wrote this song I hope some day you'll be happy I know you don't feel the same It's like you don't even know me But I remember your name
7.
I've wasted all your money and your time I might just have to face the fact that I'm Not gonna be what you want me to I'll never be what you want me to You said I tried my best and that's enough Why can't you just accept the fact that Nothing turns out like you want it to Nothing turns out like you want it to And you can tell me your secrets honey Don't be scared I'm a real disappointment baby I don't care I'm a failure of my time The house and the garage It isn't mine And I make no excuses I'm a nimrod's son Won't you please share the wealth with me Cos I want some I'm a mess of me and you Not gonna lie You may as well get used to it
8.
Fresh out of ideas (We keep our thoughts on hold) I'm clean out of inspiration (Maybe the blood runs cold) Strictly for those who were born in spring Was the summer of our discontent It's the same deal (Why should I waste my time) The thing you're too scared to mention (Because the pain is mine) What were you expecting me to become I'm a poor excuse for a nimrod's son So what I've got Not much to show for my life's work I just accept that nothing turns out like you want it to (Every night) You see I'm down on the inside I know that you can't help your pride But deep down inside I know you feel like your luck's all out So pull up a chair take a glass And say here's to the past It's just like a daydream (Drifting with no control) Except one you can't wake up from (Please make the music stop) Trying to catch a break in life is a mystery Yes a mystery, but The cocaine and drinking (And all the sleepless nights) Go well with my medication (It's like and endless fight) A strict regime of abuse to myself Does a world of good for my mental health And if I find myself Struggling with issues of self worth I tell myself "If life gives you lemons Make a lemon sandwich And chow down" Because I'm down on the inside I know that you can't help your pride But deep down inside I know you feel like your luck's all out So pull up a chair take a glass And say here's to the past I'm afraid that's the best I've got I'm not going to get any better It's okay, I just learned to fail with dignity and pride With dignity and pride I'm down on the inside I know that you can't help your pride But deep down inside I know you feel like your luck's all out So pull up a chair take a glass And say here's to the past Cos I'm down on the inside I know that you can't help your pride But deep down inside I know you feel like your luck's all out So pull up a chair take a glass And say here's to the past
9.
A flicker still she burns Pretending we haven't come to the point of no return And dimmer is the flame That shines behind your eyes saying you don't feel the same And I've no-one left to blame Well it's nice to dream but the sleeper must awake In another world I'd look at you and you wouldn't turn away In another world I might have faith that I'd be the lucky one In another world Clocking in and clocking out Are you unsatisfied with the way your life turned out Wearing the same suit every day Wouldn't you like to get a million miles away To a modest fantasy Where it's more than just a dream to feel ok In another world I'd lose control and throw my clothes away In another world I'd tell you exactly where you could stuff your job In another world I might be underworked and overpaid In another world You'd underpromise and overdeliver In another world I dwell in darkness when you went away In another world Maybe I'm missing you after you were gone In another world I wouldn't blame myself for everything In another world I could forgive myself and I might move on In another world I wouldn't regret the things I didn't say In another world I could have held your hand as we walked along In another world The sands of time would not just fall away In another world I'd have the chance to put right what once went wrong
10.
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about

A short pop album about growing up and giving in.

credits

released March 25, 2019

All songs written by Gary Yay
except
Track 3 written by Mark Boniface, Paul Perity, Max Wingell and Gary Yay
Track 8 written by Gary Yay and Fugazi
Track 10 written by Sara Allen, Daryl Hall and John Oates

All songs performed by Gary Yay
with thanks to the following additional players:
Lise Frances - backing vocals on Track 2
Alex Painter - saxophone on Tracks 4, 8 and 10

Recorded, mixed, produced and mastered by Gary Yay entirely from his living room.

This album is dedicated to
Mum
Flo
and Andy Leng.
"I'll see you in another life, when we are both cats!"

It's good to talk. www.mind.org.uk

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about

Gary Yay Brighton, UK

80s-pop obsessed punk idiot desperately trying to figure out life in general.

FFO: Descendents, early Weezer, Lemonheads, Husker Du, Replacements, Lifetime, Jawbreaker, Guided By Voices, Jimmy Eat World.

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